Because of You Read online

  “What do you have in the bag?” My mother asks Carrie. I didn’t even notice she was carrying anything, but the smell lets me know exactly what it is.

  “Enough steak and lobster for a feast.”

  “I can’t believe you waited for the food,” I state, actually proud of her.

  “Listen, if Dad chose our favorite restaurant to share his horrible news the least I could do is have him buy us a very expensive dinner.”

  “You girls are terrible,” my mother says, actually laughing now. I can’t help but laugh too, even though sadness and rage swims through my veins.

  I’ve been moping around the house not really wanting to smile. My mother and Carrie are tired of my sad face so they’ve convinced me to go to the party tonight. My mother is even lending me her car. She says the party will help get things off my mind. I doubt it will, but it’s worth a try.

  “I can’t believe you’re going to the party. I thought I was gonna have to beg you to come out with me tonight,” Farrah says sitting with her legs crisscrossed on my bed.

  “Yeah, well I thought I’d have some fun before we start school next week.” I put my dark brown hair up in a ponytail with a headband to pull all my loose hair back. “Is Logan meeting us here or at the party?”

  Farrah and Logan are my best friends. They’re both as different as night and day but somehow still mesh well together. At the same time they also love to argue, mostly about what I should do with my life.

  “He’s meeting us there. He had to work until closing.”

  “Great, now I feel bad. He’s covering my shift.” I apply purple eyeliner over my eyelid making my sea green eyes pop.

  “I’m sure he’s okay,” Farrah states, twirling her long straight dark blond hair around her finger. “So how did it go with your dad last night? You never told me.”

  “Fine.” I really don’t want to share the details with her right now. I know if I start talking about it I’ll become depressed all over again.

  “Cool. So, do you think Garret will be there tonight?”

  “I hope not. I’m not in the mood to run into him.” Who am I kidding of course he’ll be there. It’s a party and Garret never misses a party.

  “I still don’t know why you guys broke up.”

  “It’s complicated.” I don’t want to talk about that either. In fact if I could go the rest of my life not having to think about Garret again I will be a very happy girl. Well, as happy as I can be.

  Farrah walks over to the white bench by my window and kneels on it to peek outside. “God, he’s hot!”

  “Who?” I ask, applying mascara.

  “Austin Evans. You don’t know how lucky you are to live right across the street from him"

  “He’s a major asshole!”

  “If I lived here all I would do is spend my days and nights spying on him.”

  “You’re crazy. Trust me if you really knew him you wouldn’t.”

  “One day you’ll get over whatever he did to you when you were kids.” Farrah moved to Cisco Beach when she was twelve, so she doesn’t really know the history Austin and I shared. She just knows I can’t stand him.

  “I am over it. I just can’t stand him. Besides look what he did to Logan last year.”

  “Yeah, that was fucked up. But what did he do to you? And don’t tell me you don’t wanna talk about it. We’ve been friends for over four years and you never wanna talk about anything.” She walks over to my bed and throws herself on it. “So spill it. We’re not leaving until you do. Tell me what Austin Evans did to make you hate him so much?”

  I roll my eyes. I really hate reliving the past, but I know she won’t ever stop asking me if I don’t tell her. The truth is telling her might help me get rid off his stupid smug face that keeps wanting to reappear in my head.

  “We used to be good friends. In fact he was my best friend. It didn’t matter that he was a year older than me. All we did was hang out with each other.” I begin.

  “Really? Well what happened?”

  “We got older and he started hanging out with his friends from school.”

  “And?”

  “And that’s it. We parted ways,” I lie.

  “Oh no you don’t! Come on Jade just tell me already,” she begs.

  “Okay, fine.” I close my eyes and relive the childhood memory I wish I could erase from my brain. “I don’t know if it’s because I was losing Austin to his friends or something else, but all of a sudden I began to like him.”

  “You mean like him, like him?”

  “Yup. I, for some stupid unexplainable reason, began to get a crush on Austin. And because of it I started acting weird around him, mostly because I was scared he would find out. Whatever. Anyway on his eleventh birthday he was extra nice to me or so I thought. I really believed he felt the same way I did. So, I took a stupid chance and kissed him on the lips in front of all his friends.”

  “What?! You kissed Austin Evans?” She jumps up onto her knees, as her honey brown eyes look as if they are going to pop out of her skull.

  I nod yes, trying my best to ignore the anger festering inside of me.

  “How was it?”

  “Terrible.”

  “Terrible?!”

  “Yes. Maybe not the kiss itself, but what happened next was. He pulled away from me and became furious. His friends began to laugh and Austin yelled at me and told me to leave him alone. He told me he no longer wanted to be my friend. And after he began to make fun of me in front of his 6th grade friends. He no longer wanted to be friends with me.”

  “What an asshole.”

  “I told you.”

  “Okay, but he still has hot friends, especially Josh Merritt.”

  “I guess. Look, I’m done with this trip down memory lane. You ready to go?”

  “Can we stop at the store first? I wanna get some gum in case this is the night I finally get Josh to notice me.”

  “You’re crazy! Lets go.” I’m planning to have a good time tonight, and maybe forget for a while everything that’s happened in my life last night and six years ago.

  Music swims into my ears as we get closer to the beach. We both step out of my car. The cool ocean breeze blows my loose floral shirt up. I can’t believe how chilly it’s out after it being so hot last night. I pull my red sweatshirt out of the car and put it on. I think my most favorite outfits are sweatshirts and shorts. I wish I could wear them all year long.

  “You ready?” I ask Farrah as she glances at her reflection on the car window one more time.

  “Yup, lets go party!” She grabs my hand and leads me.

  Two fire pits light up the beach as tons of people are scattered between them. Thank goodness this is the last week for tourists to be here and then they all head back to their homes. Cisco Beach will once again become our normal little town.

  I take my flip-flops off and place them with the big pile of shoes. Hopefully I’ll be able to find them again at the end of the night. The last time I came to a party here I accidently took someone else’s shoes home. It’s not my fault we both wore pink converse that day.

  As soon as my feet touch the cold sand they begin to sink. I love the feeling of cool sand squishing between my toes. I wish all these people weren’t here so I could enjoy the beach all to myself.

  “It’s about time you two got here,” Logan groans shaking his sun kissed blond hair off his face. “I actually had to talk to my sister and pretend I was interested in what she was saying.”

  “Sorry, we had to do some girl stuff,” Farrah explains going to give him a hug.

  “Hey, thanks for covering my shift at work today,” I say.

  “No problem. You didn’t miss much, except for the same annoying customers.” Logan places his arm around my arms. “So, are you gonna tell me why you were so upset this morning when I called you?”

  “I’ll fill you in later. I don’t feel like talking about it right now.”

  “Okay. As long as you’re okay,” Logan say
s, with his greenish blue eyes filled with concern.

  Logan came into my life just when I needed him most. We actually dated in the eighth grade, but realized we’re better off as friends than boyfriend and girlfriend.

  “Where’s Jesse?” I ask him.

  “He should be here soon.” Jesse is Logan’s other best friend. He actually used to live here until two years ago when his parents got divorced. Now he spends the school year living with his mother in Cypress Oak, a small town in upstate New York, and spends his summers here with his dad. Between Logan, Jesse and me we could start the broken family club.

  I hate to admit I always get a little jealous when Jesse is around, because Logan tends to spend more time with him. The truth is if Jesse hadn’t moved away Logan and I might not have become so close.

  “Ohmigod, there he is,” Farrah chirps pointing towards the ocean.

  “Who?” I ask, quickly turning my head to see who she is pointing to.

  “Josh!” I swear this is going to be the year I get him,” Farrah says not taking her eyes off him.

  Josh Merritt has been Farrah’s crush since he moved here from Boston two years ago. Unfortunately, every girl at Cisco Beach High School also thinks he’s hot. I think it’s his sky blue eyes that drive all of them wild.

  He was dating Julie Harcastle, but they broke up right before the summer began. He’s been enjoying being single by hooking up with every girl in town. No wonder he’s such good friends with Austin. They are both cut from the same dirty disgusting cloth.

  Damn, here I go again thinking about Austin. I can’t get over him trying to be nice to me last night. What, does he think I don’t remember everything he ever said to me years ago? It’s all still engraved in my head, every thing he ever called me.

  I remember he would chase me to my house calling me a bratty baby and telling me things like I grossed him out. He ruined my self-esteem. I went years thinking I was gross and horrible looking.

  He only stopped teasing me because my mother told his parents to make him stop after watching me cry for two weeks straight. We didn’t look at each other again until last night. I’d be just fine if I never have to talk to him again.

  “I heard he’s trying to get back together with Julie,” Logan says, waking me up from my thoughts and bursting Farrah’s bubble.

  “Ain’t gonna happen. Besides Julie’s been busy hooking up with some tourist.”

  “Yeah, but that tourist will be leaving soon,” Logan reminds her laughing.

  “You’re an ass!” She punches him on the arm.

  Logan begins to laugh harder. His laughter stops as he squints his eyes looking past us. “Oh damn, I see Jesse talking to my sister.” He points over to one of the fire pits. “I better go rescue him before she bores him to death talking about her new favorite boy band. I’ll be right back.”

  “When is he going to realize that Jesse likes Summer?” Farrah asks. Summer is Logan’s younger sister. She’s starting at Cisco Beach High School this year.

  “I think he already does, and that’s why he’s rushing over there. He’s being a protective brother,” I say, watching him walk across the beach.

  Suddenly my heart comes to a complete stop, Austin is standing by one of the fire pit staring at me. I quickly look away and pretend not to notice him, but I can still feel his eyes on me.

  I glance up again and this time I see him sauntering toward us with a smug smile on his face. Why is he coming over here? Does he really think I’m going to hang out with him?

  “Hey,” he says reaching us.

  Farrah opens her eyes wide, while forming a huge grin. “Hi.”

  I don’t say anything, nor do I want to say anything. I just want him to go away.

  “Hi,” he says to Farrah and then turns to face me with his stupid annoying smile. “I was starting to think you weren’t gonna come.” I don’t even have to look at Farrah to know she is smiling from ear to ear. “Are you having fun yet?”

  I roll my eyes hoping he’ll get the hint I don’t want him around me.

  “Austin!” A bunch of guys from school yell out as they walk by us. He nods at them and then turns to look at me again. He closes one eye and squeezes his lips to the side making his left cheek pop out. I remember he used to do this every time he was trying to say something. Hopefully, he’ll tell me what he wants and go away.

  “You wanna go for a walk?” he asks taking me off guard.

  Farrah gasps making us both turn to face her. “Ah...sorry I have to go ah...umm, Jade, go for that walk. I’ll see you in a few. I have to go find Logan.” Before she walks away she glances over her shoulder and says with a giggle, “Have fun.” I swear I’m going to kill her.

  “So do you wanna go for that walk now?” Austin asks again.

  I can’t believe him. He hasn’t spoken to me for six years and now he wants me to go for a walk with him. He really is an ass.

  “Actually, I rather...” I look past him and spot Garret with Cara Randle by his side. I should have known he would start hooking up with her next. She tried to come between us for the entire time we were dating. It pisses me off she got him. “Okay, lets go for that walk.” I turn around and begin to tread through the sand in the other direction. Austin quickly follows behind me.

  “Hey, isn’t that your boyfriend?” He asks catching up to me.

  “No. We broke up.” I can’t believe he would show up here with her. I swear every man in my life sucks!

  “Is that why you were crying last night?”

  “What?”

  “Last night, you had tears in your eyes when you bumped into me. Is he why you were crying?” he asks.

  “No!”

  “Then was it because of your parents?”

  I halt to a stop, turn to face him, and with rage in my voice say, “That’s none of your damn business! Your father shouldn’t be telling you any of the details of their divorce.”

  “He hasn’t. Look all I know is they’re divorced. I swear.”

  I roll my eyes. Who am I kidding, even if Austin’s father was not my father’s lawyer, he would still know everything. It was huge town gossip when my father left my mother for a much younger woman. Wait until everyone starts to realize his shiny new toy is carrying his baby. I wish I could go into hiding.

  “So is it because of your parents?” He asks again, actually looking sincere. “I was shocked when I found out they split up. They always seemed so happy. What happened?” Is he really pretending he doesn’t know?

  “He’s just like you, letting his thing in his pants control his life.”

  A sly smile comes across his face. “I don’t let the thing in my pants control my life.”

  “That’s not what I hear.”

  “Don’t tell me you believe everything you hear? I didn’t think you were that type of girl.”

  “What type of girl do you think I am?” I can’t wait to hear this.

  “The kind of girl who likes to do her own thing. The kind of girl who never laughs when someone falls, because she hates when people get embarrassed. The kind of girl who likes to dance when she’s bored. The kind of girl I would like to get to know...again.” His sly smile turns into a kind and caring one as his dimples appear. He reaches out and grabs my hand making my heart pound louder than the waves crashing on the shore.

  “Sometimes I really miss our friendship. You don’t how many times I wanted to approach you and see if you were okay when I heard about your parents.” He steps closer still holding my hand. His gaze makes me uncomfortable, but yet I can’t look away. “I guess I wanted to rescue you the way I used to when we were kids.”

  My mind is spinning. I can’t believe he remembers all that about me. I don’t know whether to trust him or fear him. Could this be some cruel joke he’s come up with?

  “Why are you...”

  “Austin!” A loud screech comes vibrating over the ocean waves. We both step away from each other and turn our heads to see Leah and her friends staring at
us with pure anger in their eyes.

  3

  Dad Sucks

  “Your fan club is here. You better go,” I say, stepping further away from him.

  “What?! No it’s cool, she’s...”

  “Well then I’m the one that should go.” I turn around and begin to walk back towards the party.

  Leah and her friends part to allow me the space to walk by. Leah makes sure to roll her pale blue eyes all the way behind her head as I walk past her. I can’t believe I once thought she was cool.

  I must be crazy. I don’t know why I even stood there listening to all those lies Austin was spitting out. For a minute I wanted to tell him I also missed our friendship. I’m such an idiot.

  I still remember how I felt when he shut me out of his life, it was one of the most painful moments in my life. He made me feel like I was gross and for that I will never forgive him.

  “There you are. We’ve been looking all over for you,” Logan says, pacing towards me with Farrah and Jesse by his side. Farrah opens her eyes wide and shakes her head no letting me know she didn’t tell him about my walk with Austin.

  I think Logan hates Austin even more than I do, but not for the same reason. Last year Logan was deeply in love with Olivia Bush. They started dating and were attached at the hip. I didn’t really care for her, but I respected their relationship.

  One day Olivia went to a party without Logan and caught Austin’s attention. I’m not sure exactly what happened between them, but the next day she dumped Logan thinking Austin was going to start dating her.

  Logan was devastated. He tried more than once to kick Austin’s ass, but was always stopped by Garret, who is also very good friends with Logan. Yes it sucks.

  Austin never did show any interest in Olivia after the party. He acted like he didn’t know why Logan was so mad at him. All Austin cares about is Austin.

  Olivia did try to get back with Logan, but he wouldn’t forgive her. I felt so bad he was betrayed that way. Little did I know only two months later I would find out my dad was cheating on my mom. It all sucks. It’s so hard to trust anybody these days.